Saturday, August 10, 2013

a million miles from where my heart resides

It's the middle of the night and I'm a million miles away from where my heart currently resides. Somewhere, nestled under a blanket in southern California is where I should be- right beside her, hands cupped together, mightily trying to hold the pieces of her shattered heart.

She's more special than she knows. More beautiful than a thousand melting sunsets and she holds a marker in my life like no one else can ever compare.

These last two weeks she's been one of the only ones I've let into the dark places of my heart. I've told her about my broken dreams, my physical pain, and frustration. She's let me cry, delivered faithful texts to my phone, sent cards of encouragement and checked in across the miles time and time again. A true friend indeed.

Tonight at 10:36 when my phone rang, I new something was wrong. To hear her sobs across the other line confirmed what I already felt in the pit of my stomach. Her dad unexpectedly had passed away. Just like that. One second here, the next gone to Heaven. How great she aches. How deep she hurts. How quickly in a moment's notice she is ushered into the dark place. One I so badly want to take her from. If only I could protect her from that pain.

I wanted to jump in my car but I'm 20 hours away by vehicle. No encouraging card will do. A text just seems so lacking. I can't sleep so I'm on my knees, praying. Praying that He is holding her. Comforting her. Calming her and giving her peace. A peace that surpasses all understanding. I want her family to know that God loves them, that He is present and has not abandoned them. That He will provide. I'm asking that she be protected today and always, as well as her family. Sweet Jesus be with my dear, dear friend, the one I love so much more than words, take her pain as your own. Let her find absolute relief in you. May she rest between your shoulders as you carry her now and always. Be her ever present shelter, protection, and help in trouble. Wrap yourself around her as comfort. Let her find a rhythm of relaxation in you. I trust that you will be everything she needs, Lord. My soul and heart ache for her.

My best friend, while I can't be there now, trust that I will stay right where I am---on my knees. I'm holding your heart for you. Lean on me as much as you need. i am here--now, tomorrow, next week, three years from now, and to remind your babies of his sweet memory. No card will do for this one so I'll close the gap soon and minimize the miles because when you're a million miles from where you're heart resides the only thing to do to fix it is to get on a plane. I'm coming for ya. Until then you know where to find me.